Love just is

For some people Valentine's Day means chocolates and romance. For others it is a day to dread, because there is nobody around to hand them an overly sappy card or a box of bonbons to eat that evening.

I am not big on retail holidays. I hope the people I love can see it all year round, and not just on one day when the shops tell us to.

Very little love is red, or heart shaped, or high in calories. Plenty of it has nothing to do with romance. It is free, though, and there is a great deal of it about if you look.

What you give out

There is a simple rule you already know. What you give out, you get back. Call it karma. Put love out there and you will find yourself surrounded by it.

I cannot tell you what that will look like for you. Everyone's version is different, and underneath they are all much the same: feeling blessed, at peace, content. Help someone else feel that and you will feel it too. Love can be very small when you give it and grow enormous once it arrives.

It changes shape

For a child, love might be a warm hug from her mother, or a paper bag full of cardboard valentines, or a volunteer serving a hot meal with a smile. For a teenager it might be a look from an admirer, an hour alone with a busy father, or a warm night off the streets.

As we get older the definition changes again. After 50 it might be a phone call from a grown child who did not have to call. A grandchild's drawing on the fridge. A neighbour who shovels your walk without being asked.

Love is whatever you need it to be at that moment.

This Valentine's Day, for me and my family, love just is.

I wish the same for you and yours.

From the archive. First written for my journal years ago, and rewritten for life after 50.