The second winners
When Gray was three, he and I raced Gord and Spenser home from the hockey arena. We got there first.
I was delighted. "Look, Gray, we won! We're the winners, and your dad and your sister lost!"
I expected a cheer. Instead he looked at me as though I had no idea what I was talking about.
"No, Mom. They didn't lose. They're the second winners."
Out of the mouths of babes. You can learn something new every single day, sometimes from someone who is three.
Are we there yet
Every parent has heard it from the back seat. Are we there yet? And the answer is always the same. Almost. We're almost there.
That holds for learning, and for most of life. By then I had studied feng shui for over twenty years and trained with two masters, and I was still picking up new techniques and new ideas along the way. When it comes to learning, opening yourself up to something new or working toward a goal, there is no end to the road. If there were, it would be a pretty sad day.
You will make plenty of mistakes. With luck you learn from them and carry on. What matters is that you keep learning.
The voice in your head
The excitement of picking up a new sport, finishing a crossword, or finally understanding why something works the way it does never really wears off.
At the time, though, it can feel overwhelming. A constant struggle, with an inner voice that will not stop. Can I do this? Am I smart enough? Am I going to look foolish asking such a simple question?
After 50 that voice can get louder. You are used to being good at things. Being a beginner again, in a room full of people who already know how, takes a particular kind of nerve. It is worth finding.
Second winners
Gray had it right. Nobody who turned up and ran the race lost. Some of us just got home a little later.
If you are the slowest in the class this year, you are a second winner. That is a perfectly good thing to be, and you are still learning, which is the whole point.
From the archive. First written for my journal years ago, and rewritten for life after 50.
